absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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