Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone shit on the floor
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize