There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
