i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
