just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
