Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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