Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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