based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
