After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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