wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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