I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
