Someone shit on the floor
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
