Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
