would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
