I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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