And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
