That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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