Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
