What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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