3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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