you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You were trust falling into bushes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
