So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How does one acquire holy water?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
