My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
