Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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