I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
