yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
