About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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