I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
