Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize