Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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