Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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