it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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