kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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