I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
