'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
