We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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