he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
