Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
