i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize