I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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