And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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