I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
