Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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