i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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