none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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