I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
