But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
