we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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