She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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