I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
