Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
