at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
