Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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