you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
