no, he came in my armpit
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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