she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
