i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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