garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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