Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
