I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
