i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
