My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
