dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
