somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I want a musical about memes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
