He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize